1. Apologize excessively. You don’t have to apologize for existing.
2. Text too much. Wait for a response instead of sending four more messages asking if they are ignoring you.
3. Act overly-macho. If you try to show-off, you’ll just look look like you are overcompensating.
4. Put down others. Insulting others won’t make you look any cooler. It just makes you look like a twat.
5. Avoid eye contact. You are the lesser of no one. Don’t worry. The more eye contact you make, the easier it gets.
6. Agree with everything. Stick up for your beliefs. Have your own opinions.
7. Constantly deprecate themselves. Your flaws are a lot more apparent to you than anyone else. Pointing them out constantly won’t fix them, nor will it improve others’ opinions of you.
8. Practice bad posture. Don’t sit with hunched shoulders. Loosen up a little. Spread your limbs out like you are comfortable in your own skin.
9. Avoid all conversation. Small talk can suck, but if somebody is interested enough to ask a question, the least you can do is respond.